8 Ways ADHDers Mask with Food 🎭
It’s not Halloween, there’s no masquerade ball invite, and we didn’t catch a cold—so why are ADHDers masking? 🎭
*Ba dum tss!*
All jokes aside, masking—sometimes called “social camouflaging”—is when neurodivergent individuals hide or suppress their natural behaviors, traits, or tendencies to fit societal norms and expectations.
Across the neurodivergent community, some common examples of masking include:
- Suppressing stimming, like avoiding repetitive movements or motions.
- Mirroring social behaviors, such as copying facial expressions, gestures, or tone of voice.
- Forcing eye contact, even when it feels deeply uncomfortable.
- Hiding sensory discomfort (like noise, lighting, or certain textures).
- Rehearsing scripts for conversations to navigate social situations more easily.
But masking doesn’t just happen in social interactions.
What does masking look like when it comes to food and eating? How do social stigmas—and societal expectations—show up at the table for ADHDers?
Whether it’s a business lunch, dinner with the in-laws, or catching up with an old friend, food and eating can feel extra tricky when you’re masking with ADHD. From navigating menus to managing social pressures, the experience can quickly become overwhelming.
If you have ADHD, this blog will offer insight into your brain, your relationship with food, and some of the ways masking might show up in eating habits. If you don’t have ADHD, chances are you know someone who does. This blog can help you better understand their experience—and what masking around food might look like for them.
Here are 8 ways masking can show up with food and eating for ADHDers:
1. Making last-second ordering decisions
Restaurants are full of stimulation. The never-ending menus, the eye-catching decor, the background noise—and let’s not forget getting completely lost in conversation the second we sit down. By the time it’s our turn to order, we might freeze like a deer in headlights.
That split-second pressure—“It’s my turn! I’ve got to decide right now!!”—often leads to ordering something we don’t actually want. The result? Frustration, regret, and even guilt for not choosing a meal that is satisfying.
2. Wanting to appear “flexible” or making “adult” food choices
ADHDers often find comfort in predictable eating routines or hyperfixate on certain foods. But in social settings, we might feel embarrassed or judged if our preferred foods seem too “childish,” “plain,” “not colorful,” or “not adventurous” enough.
To fit in, we might avoid ordering the food we really want, choosing something that feels more “acceptable” to others instead. This pressure to appear flexible—or to live up to other people’s ideas of “adult” eating—can leave us disconnected from what our bodies actually crave.
3. Forcing ourselves to eat foods despite texture or flavor aversions
Many ADHDers experience heightened sensitivity to certain textures, smells, or flavors. We might feel excited about a meal, only to discover it triggers one of our sensory “icks”—leaving us repulsed and uncomfortable.
But in a social setting, the pressure to “grin and bear it” kicks in. Whether it’s not wanting to seem picky, fear of being a burden, or avoiding the vulnerability of explaining our experience, we might push through and eat the food anyway. The result? Dissatisfaction, discomfort, and a missed opportunity to honor our unique needs.
4. Making up excuses to decline food due to sensory issues
When food is offered—whether it’s homemade, part of a gathering, or simply someone sharing a snack—it can feel awkward to decline, especially for ADHDers who are dealing with sensory aversions. Instead of saying, “That texture doesn’t work for me” or “I know that flavor won’t sit well,” we often find ourselves defaulting to excuses like, “I’m not hungry,” or “I already ate.”
These small lies can feel like the easiest way to avoid judgment, pressure, or questions, but they also mean masking our true experience. Over time, constantly making excuses can feel isolating, leaving us disconnected from social moments that revolve around food and unsupported in honoring our sensory needs.
5. Asking others what they want to eat to avoid decision overwhelm
Deciding what to eat can feel overwhelming to ADHDers. Between balancing cravings, weighing options, and battling the overstimulation of options, menus, or group dynamics, decision paralysis can hit hard.
To avoid this, ADHDers might defer to others with a simple, “What do you want to eat?” or “I’ll just have whatever you’re having.” While this can ease the pressure in the moment, it also means ignoring our own preferences or needs—leading to meals that don’t fully satisfy, and a sense of disconnect from our own hunger and desires. It can also lead to binge eating afterward, in order to get these needs met when it finally feels safe to make decisions.
6. Eating alone to avoid judgment about “weird” food quirks and preferences
For many ADHDers, food quirks and preferences are a big part of eating—whether it’s hyperfixating on the same meal for weeks, combining unexpected flavors, or needing food prepared in a very specific way. These quirks can sometimes feel misunderstood or judged in group settings.
To avoid comments like, “That’s all you’re eating?” or “You’re eating that again?” ADHDers might choose to eat alone or in private. While this can feel safer, it can also contribute to feelings of isolation or shame around our natural eating patterns—patterns that are completely valid and deserving of acceptance.
7. Hyper-focusing on eating to avoid “taking up space” in conversation
For some ADHDers, there’s a constant awareness of being “too much”—talking too much, interrupting, or feeling like we are dominating the conversation. In social settings, this fear can lead to masking by hyper-focusing on the act of eating.
By keeping our attention on the plate—taking smaller bites, chewing slowly, or fixating on finishing our food—we may suppress the impulse to jump into the conversation, interrupt, or share our thoughts. While this strategy might feel like it helps us to “blend in” or avoid judgment, it can also leave us feeling isolated or disconnected from the group.
The meal becomes less about connection or enjoyment and more about managing how much space we take up, often at the expense of authentic relationship building and connection.
8. Ordering smaller portions or less food out of fear of judgment
Family dynamics, diet culture, societal pressure, and weight stigma can make food choices feel heavily scrutinized. In these moments, we might order less than we need in order to avoid judgment about what we’re eating, how much we’re eating, or assumptions about ADHD and appetite.
This can leave us hungry, unsatisfied, and disconnected from our body’s cues—all because external judgment (real or perceived) can feel louder than our own needs.
Masking around food is exhausting. It pulls us away from our natural instincts and can leave us frustrated, hungry, or overwhelmed. So, what can you do to support yourself in unmasking?
TAKING OFF THE MASK
A common thread among these masking behaviors is a fear of judgment—whether real or perceived—from those around us. This fear can quietly shape the way we interact with food, leading us to suppress our needs and preferences to fit social norms.
Simply recognizing this dynamic is a powerful first step toward change. With awareness comes the opportunity to move toward greater self-advocacy and authenticity in how we show up at the table.
REFLECTION
Take a moment to get curious about your beliefs, fears, and habits when it comes to eating in public.
- What beliefs do you hold about food ordering or eating in social settings?
- What fears arise when you imagine being judged for your food choices?
- What do those fears sound like—are they your own voice or someone else’s?
- What might happen if you allowed yourself to honor your preferences and needs, without masking, in public?
- What tools or actions might help me begin to safely unmask in some of these situations?
This isn’t about judgment or forcing change. It’s about understanding where these behaviors come from so you can explore what feels most authentic and satisfying for you.
Does this sound all too familiar?
Are you craving a safe, supportive community of ADHDers who are also navigating their experience with food and eating? What about a space where you can share in recognition, reflection, and self-compassion around masking and gain tools and strategies to start unmasking?
Join us in the Neurished Monthly Membership to connect with ADHDers who just get it.
And great news: Neurished now offers scholarships! Apply here!
FINAL THOUGHTS ON FOOD MASKING WITH ADHD
At our primal core, the instinct to fit in has been key to human survival. Masking—whether in social settings or around food—has likely been part of our social fabric and inner narratives for as long as we’ve been gathering around tables. It’s no wonder that our brains sometimes push us to hide parts of ourselves in order to feel safe, accepted, and connected.
But here’s the empowering part: awareness gives us choice.
When we notice these masking tendencies, we create space to pause and ask ourselves:
- “Is this behavior serving me right now?”
- “What would feel more aligned with my needs, desires, and satisfaction in this moment?”
Choosing authenticity doesn’t mean disregarding the instinct to fit in. It means honoring your true self while also acknowledging the fear, societal norms, and survival mechanisms that are part of being human.
By practicing self-compassion and curiosity, we can gradually step away from masking and toward actions that reflect our real needs—whether that’s ordering the food we want, honoring sensory preferences, or letting go of fears around judgment.
Food can be more than a point of stress. It can be a place of connection, joy, and nourishment—when we allow ourselves to eat in a way that feels embodied, genuine, and satisfying.